i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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