Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
