he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
