I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
