I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
