Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
