she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
where am i from again
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
