All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hell yes lets make some ravioli
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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