oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
