are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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