He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
