Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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