The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
