a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize