Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
