at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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