possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
