he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
