he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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