I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
