i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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