U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize