Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just cropdusted the office
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
