they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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