She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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