Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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