Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
