i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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