Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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