btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
