god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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