Welp...herpes.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
