Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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