none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
