These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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