I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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