I looked at my own cervix.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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