i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
