i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
