He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
