I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
