I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am available for nakedness
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
