sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
