I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
