Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We got so high we made milksteak
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
