i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
