yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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