what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize