She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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