Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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