Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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