Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We talked him into tasing himself.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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