Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
