If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
well you can't waste a boner
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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