My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
