In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Randomize