that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
