I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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