Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
