i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
