I want to make a zoo with you.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
