I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
