Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
