u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
