Im at strip club and am horny
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
